Entries in Cancer Land (44)

food mood

Week 14 was a very short work week. the friday after thanksgiving was a vacation day due to family being in town, and thursday treatment day became wednesday treatment day due to thanksgiving. so, that left monday and tuesday as my normal work days.

wednesday came bright and early, an 8am appointment to try and beat the chaos of the office's wednesday and thursday (and maybe even friday?) appointments all getting shoved into wednesday. it was the first treatment i would be receiving without seeing dr. m first (she usually sees patients every three weeks when they are on weekly taxol), and i was coming in a day early, which increased the chances that my blood work would show that i wasn't ready for another round yet, which to me would mean a wasted day and a wasted week of possible treatment. i was a little anxious about it all, as noted by the check-in nurse ("uh, is your pulse usually high?"), but i was cleared for that morning's chemo. to the early birds go the spoils: we got a chair in the far corner of the room, so not a lot of people or traffic, and plenty of room for andy's chair and all our stuff. i had a new-to-me nurse (taylor), and she was chatty and knowledgeable. nothing out of the ordinary with the infusion: benadryl, sleepiness, dexamethasone, pepcid; DIY cryotherapy, taxol, and watching colbert on andy's ipad. then we were free, and i can't remember any errands or fun anecdotes. i think it was home for lunch, and i took a nap on the couch for the afternoon.

on thursday morning, my parents rolled into town. shortly after their arrival, the four of us made it to andy's parents' house around noon for thanksgiving festivities. the day was a blur of food, family, football watching, and games, with a walk thrown in for good measure. i felt like i ate slightly less than past thanksgivings (more on that later), but still consumed too much. you know, the usual thanksgiving story.

friday was a sleep-in sort of day, a light breakfast at home with my parents, and putting up the christmas tree (with a partial strand of the pre-lit lights not working, which makes me very sad/irritated/arrgghh-y). then it was leftovers for lunch, a short trip to the mall with my mom, and they were headed home. the evening was spent doing a little cleaning up, a little game playing, a little chilling out.

saturday was the traditional deep-fried turkey for the michigan-osu game, with andy's family in ashtabula. plenty more food, delicious crispy-skinned turkey, and a blowout of a game. it was good to see those who didn't come down to the columbus area for thanksgiving, and to just hang out for the day. sunday late morning we departed back to columbus, listening to the beginning of the browns game on the radio, which was much better than watching the end once we got home.

as noted in previous entries, i have escaped more of the serious side effects from chemo. the one side effect i do have is minor, which i finally realized during the last week or two, though all the pre-chemo pepcid drips should have tipped me off. basically, i have a sort of stomachache and/or heartburn that constantly comes and goes. it's not nausea (thank god), but it's just... annoying. it sort of affects my appetite, it sort of doesn't. it sort of affects my digestive system, it sort of doesn't. it's not major, it's just always... there. tums doesn't really help (also: i have discovered that tums is/are kind of gross). i certainly don't have a desire to stuff myself full (the novelty of thanksgiving perhaps being the exception). i may need to return to smaller meals and snacks. we will see. it's not the end of the world, just constant and unexpected.

another thing which will come as a shocker to those who know me: dr pepper just doesn't taste as good as it used to. I KNOW. YOU ARE SURPRISED. I AM TOO. so i'm looking for a different fizzy fix. perhaps ginger ale and/or root beer? those sound like good options, though maybe it will be something completely different. who knows? slight changes all around in Cancer Land, but so far, so good. let's do this.

Posted on Sunday, December 1, 2019 at 08:25PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

heat wave

the new weekly normal is developing here. monday through wednesday, went in to work like a normal person. wednesday evening had the added bonus of hanging out with serena and jen over pho and other dishes... always an entertaining time with these ladies.

thursday was infusion day, the second round of taxol. for the first round, i was pretty amped up due to wondering about the NEW DRUG SIDE EFFECTS, of which there basically ended up being none. this time, i was a little more relaxed, and i think as a result, i felt the benadryl's effects. about ten minutes after that drip started, i got hit with a little bit of the sleepies... at least now i know that benadryl makes me drowsy, not hyper. yay science? i sort of dozed until it was almost time for the taxol to begin, which meant it was time to bust out all of the ice packs for a chilly hour. but other than the benadryl and slight drowsiness, still no major side effects. after i got all unhooked, we were ready to roll, taking care of a couple of errands. the original plan was to drop me off at home while andy then visited the bmv nearest to us. however, our errands were sort of taking us right by a different bmv... and, well, it only seemed fair that with all the hours of waiting for me during chemo, i could put in some waiting hours for him. (in retrospect, perhaps wading into all of humanity at the bmv directly after receiving chemotherapy was perhaps not the greatest idea for my immune system. but this is not foreshadowing! no illnesses contracted in this story). the particular branch we went to had a weird setup (several different lines, random triage methods, gospel music playing, among other things), but i think we were out of there in less than an hour. then it was homeward bound, where i finally got a couple of hours of napping in.

friday was back to work, with an evening of greek food, and catching up on the good place and fleabag. saturday was a lazy morning, with lunch brought by a friend, and an afternoon of hanging out with said friend and shenanigans and games with her kids.

throughout all of this, there has been one new development... the introduction of HOT FLASHES WOOOOOOO. funny thing about chemotherapy, it screws around with your hormones and can induce temporary (in my case probably permanent) menopause. so that's a fun time. as someone who is generally much colder than my husband, it is a weird change of pace to be the one throwing covers off in the middle of the night. and it's not like my general temperature has increased -- nope, still usually cold -- it just randomly spikes every once in awhile. so it's not like turning the temperature down is a total solution. for now it's just running the ceiling fan and toughing it out every couple of hours in the middle of the night. so goes Week 13... sweating it out in Cancer Land. let's do this.

Posted on Monday, November 25, 2019 at 09:20PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

nothing to see here

tuesday was a brief return to a formerly common occurrence at the beginning of this process: another scan! technically, just a simple ultrasound, but it felt oddly comforting. two and a half months ago, every new procedure and scan was a reason for anxiety and an opportunity for more bad news. this particular scan was just to monitor my progress before moving on to the new regimen of taxol. the tumor had pretty obviously been decreasing in size; mostly this was just for official tests to be added to my charts and records. so back into the white spa robe, hgtv world in all the waiting rooms, and ultrasound goop all over hillary and the neighboring lymph nodes. after about half an hour of ultrasounding, the technician left me to my own devices while the radiologist looked over the results. after wiping all the goop off and robing back up, i was a little bored. i looked behind me and realized that there were two computer screens filled with my own ultrasound images, so i took a boob pic selfie in front of them, because i am mature. finally, the tech and radiologist came back, and confirmed that the cancer in both the breast and the lymph nodes had decreased in size, with no progression of disease. in short, the news was expected and welcomed, and things are going according to plan.

wednesday was uneventful, aside from the general anticipation of the new drug regimen the next day. thursday we arrived bright and early for the usual: check-in, blood draw, meet with dr. m, infusion. we discussed scheduling, blood levels, and ultrasound results with dr. m, who was very happy with our progress. then it was down to see what mysteries awaited me with taxol. i had been told that taxol is much easier than the previous chemo drugs BUT YOU NEVER KNOW. one of the different side effects is possible neuropathy (tingling and loss of sensation) in fingers and toes, so i came armed with cold gel pack sock things for my feet and cryomax ice packs for my hands. it looked a little silly, but i'll take silly over temporary and/or permanent nerve damage. the process was all much the same as previous infusions, with anti-nausea meds first, and the addition of benadryl to alleviate any adverse allergic reactions. the taxol began, and i was monitored by both the nurse (susan) and andy for any weird changes (rashes, blood pressure, oxygen levels, etc) just in casies. after about fifteen minutes, susan declared me clear of any possible issues, and set my taxol drip for a normal rate (about an hour). i kept watching and waiting for any blood pressure drops or lightheadedness or nausea, but all was well. there was a moment when i moved my left arm and realized OMG MY WHOLE HAND IS TINGLING, but yeah, i just hadn't moved it in awhile, and it had started falling asleep. nothing to see here. and then that was it. we came home, had lunch, i took a two hour nap, and... that was it. no side effects. i'll take it.

went in to work on friday, much to the surprise of my coworkers. i assumed i would not be in that day, but had never really felt less than 100% human after thursday's chemo. win.

saturday was a little random. slept in, finished a board game we had started the night before (which i surprisingly disliked quite a bit), and replaced the light in the laundry room (possibly the last of the house's light fixtures i wanted to replace). later in the evening, we went to a friend's album release party, which involved a couple of outdoor heaters of varying complexity, and an outdoor show on their back deck. and no noise disturbance warnings issued! as far as i know.

today was your typical sunday. church, a meal with andy's family, a nap, dinner at home, and writing this blog. all in all, i'd say Week 12 was pretty good. given how uneventful the new infusions seem to be, i may or may not continue to write weekly. perhaps i will, but they will be more brief. who knows? time will tell. let's do this.

Posted on Sunday, November 17, 2019 at 07:35PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

intermission

monday of Week 11 was a day of resting at the house, and ended with an evening catching up with friends over dinner. tuesday and wednesday were partial work from home days, which continue to be an amazing option i am thankful for. i think at some point we caught up on the good place and started watching fleabag. i fully enjoyed phoebe waller-bridge as L3-37 in the star wars Solo movie, and her quirkiness does not disappoint in fleabag.

thursday was 100% human day, back in to work. that evening was a mix of shopping, packing, and prepping, in anticipation of our mini-vacation. when it was confirmed that the long veterans day weekend would be an off-chemo weekend for me (the last off-chemo weekend for quite some time, as my weekly infusions would be starting the next week), we thought we should take advantage of it. we wanted to get out of town -- but not too far out of town, in case i was feeling weird -- and so, we decided to head east and explore pittsburgh.

we both worked shorter days on friday, and were packed up and headed out by mid-afternoon. it was a pleasant three hour drive. we stopped for dinner before heading downtown, to the andy warhol museum. we paid our 1/2 price friday admission and entered the weird, pop art world of warhol. then it was a few blocks away to check in to our.. not exactly a hotel, more like a.. branded airbnb apartment? ours was a one bedroom, with a fully functioning kitchen, washer and dryer, and views of the city out of wall-to-wall windows in the living room area. it was all very chic and modern, in a way that i would not find comfortable day-to-day, but nice and sleek for a city visit. we got all of our stuff up from the car, which was parked in the attached and oh-so-cramped parking garage, and settled in for the night.

i had chosen the location for its walkability, and walk we did on saturday. first we headed to point state park, which, if you are at all familiar with pittsburgh or classic photos of it, is located at the point of the golden triangle. it is where the ohio, allegheny, and monongahela rivers meet, which if you really think about it, is a whole hell of a lot of water going on. from there we walked to the strip district, which is where it seemed everyone else in pittsburgh decided to go as well. i'm not sure if it's always that busy, or if it was just packed with steelers fans for the weekend's home game, but i would have been okay with a lot less people. just sayin. it's an interesting area of the city, lots of food markets, steelers gear, restaurants, steelers gear and did i mention steelers gear? we arrived at the s&d polish deli, near the far end of the strip district, ready for lunch. the menu online listed all sorts of pierogies, kielbasa, haluszki, and cabbage rolls. sadly, we discovered at the counter that the slovakian (dumpling) haluszki listed online was no longer on the menu. sad slovak face. we ordered a platter including kielbasa, pierogies, polish (noodle) haluszki, and a cabbage roll. it was all delicious, though the pierogies were the stand out for me.

on the way back from the strip district, it was becoming apparent that a blister was forming on my heel. ouch. so much for walkability. we made it back to our room, assessed the situation, and decided to limit walking for the rest of the day. after a short nap, we hopped in the car, bought a few things at a local grocery store, had dinner at a bougie tavern, and ended the evening playing a board game.

on sunday, we fashioned some cushioning for my blister and set out for the day. we began with a drive to the duquesne incline, which is more or less a small train car operating on the side of a hill, overlooking pittsburgh. originally built for daily functionality to transport goods and people up and down the steep hill, it is mostly just a tourist attraction now... it does make for a good view. after that, we got coffee at a small coffee shop, and then toured the frick car and carriage museum. not sure i had ever seen a model t in person, but now i have!

while still out and about, we had dinner, then headed back to the parking garage. from there, we walked to the arcade comedy theater. for a little over an hour, we watched three different comedy improv teams do their best to make us laugh. on our walk back, the steelers-rams home game was just recently finished, and downtown had plenty of happy football fans. we made it back, played a board game, and then it was lights out.

monday we packed up and checked out, wandered the city for a bit, and headed home to ohio, not wanting to be too late with the impending winter weather. all in all, it was nice to get out of town for awhile and do some exploring. this week begins the first of twelve weekly infusions of taxol. i've got some cryotherapy gel packs for my fingers and toes, and a hope that side effects from this drug will be even less than the previous ones. let's do this.

Posted on Tuesday, November 12, 2019 at 07:42PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

for now

i feel a little bad about these updates. they aren't as exciting as the early weeks, where i was explaining random medical procedures and naming my boobs for no particular reason. but you're still reading, so i suppose excitement isn't necessary. on to Week 10...

monday through wednesday, i reported in to work as usual. thursday was the anniversary of the day andy and i first met in 2015. given my reaction to the previous infusion, we decided to celebrate on wednesday evening. happy meetiversary eve! we first laid eyes on each other on halloween, four years ago, at a diner between columbus and athens (where i was living at the time). it was a rare occasion where halloween actually landed on a saturday, and the classic halloween party in athens was happening that evening. i'm not as crazy about halloween as most athenians are, but lots of things converged, and i had a great costume, which i wore to that first date, and wore to the uptown party directly afterwards. it would have been more impressive if andy had more of a clue who katniss everdeen was, but whatever, hunger games was a thing, and i looked badass. anyway, though sometimes we celebrate at that actual diner, mostly we substitute dk diner in grandview for practicality. also, it is delicious. and also: DONUTS.

thursday, halloween, was my last infusion of the first set of chemo drugs (AC: adriamycin and cytoxan). with colonel sanders supervising the front desk, we were checked in by some nurse chickens. the scheduling department was doubling as the cast of Grease. the joker and green lantern were wandering the halls as well, and i believe there were some thieves in the blood draw section. the infusion room rolled out the red carpet for a miss america pageant. i was greeted with a "howdy" by miss texas, my nurse for the day. the infusions went as normal, unfortunately including the sinusy sneezy cytoxan side effects. but, in my recycled and modified rosie the riveter getup, i did it, and these drugs are OVER. the oncologist is happy that the drugs have had their intended effect (the tumor has decreased in size after each visit). high fives all around. hopefully the next set of drugs (taxol) will have less side effects. we switched around some of my nausea meds after this treatment, which seemed to help somewhat. i still spent most of thursday afternoon and evening on the couch, though the nausea seemed slightly less bad than last time.

friday was the last of my neulasta injections. after that appointment, we went mailbox shopping. you know, your typical afternoon. we had woken up that morning to find that the mailboxy part of our mailbox was in the street. it is unclear whether it was halloween hooliganism, or the windy weather. (or, perhaps, if it was just time for our weirdly constructed mailbox to go). andy sort of figured out how the thing was assembled, and we found a suitable replacement "for now". we didn't want a boring ass mailbox, but then again, time is limited with frost season and then again, let's be honest, it's just a mailbox. we made peace with the fact that we would indeed be proud owners of a boring ass mailbox. andy did most of the installation, while i, of course, measured out exactly where the adhesive numbers would be placed on each side of the mailbox because i am NOT coming home to crooked numbers every day of my life. priorities. for whatever reason, i had plenty of energy that day. we made dinner and finished the handmaid's tale that evening, and i don't think i even took one nap that day. no idea why, but i'll take it.

saturday was quite the opposite as far as energy. i'm not sure i did much aside from watching youtube and playing around on my laptop. someday, andy will be able to relax on the living room couch, but this is not that season. i think i was on the couch all day. end of list. so tired.

at some point during breakfast or getting ready on sunday, i said, "can we just skip this part where i have cancer, and fast forward to where i don't anymore?" no particular reason, just feeling achy and unwell, but andy was on board with it. not sure who to register that complaint with, but i have a feeling there will be no skipping and no fast forwarding. unexpectedly saw kate and barry at church, which was nice. after that, it was more napping on the couch, then dinner making and browns watching and wondering what cleveland ever did to deserve such terrible outcomes year after year.

today is a monday of resting at home and looking forward to the magic of the off-thursday, the thursday where i turn into a 100% human again. sort of boring, but not so bad as days go. let's do this.

Posted on Sunday, November 3, 2019 at 08:56PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

reserved

on monday, i was still feeling off-kilter enough to not work from home. given that i would mostly just be hanging about the house, it seemed a good day for a visitor, and my good friend paul was kind enough to drive up from athens on his day off. i have known paul and his wife laura for over fifteen years now, and for a good portion of that, i lived close enough to see his house from my apartment at the time. for the first several years, i was able to simply walk to their house, across an open field, in a matter of minutes. however, at some point, some storage units were built on the field, and eventually, a chain link fence around them, cutting off my easy path. sad trombone. in response to this injustice, paul made me a parking sign, fashioned from pvc piping and a bucket filled with concrete. it looked just as ridiculous as it sounds, and set it up in the driveway whenever i drove over to visit them.

andy had never seen this sign, but had heard the tales of it. "well, we should make him a parking sign." oh, yes. yes, we should. thanks to the internet and a fake tree in the shed we inherited, we did indeed make him a parking sign.

this photo was taken shortly after paul pulled into the driveway. i could hear him laughing from inside his car.

paul got the grand tour of the house, and we soon headed for lunch at tommy's diner. we chatted and caught up on the way there, and back, through franklinton, and back at the house. talking with paul is always time well spent. he headed off in the afternoon, and i spent a few hours napping, and chilling for the evening.

it was apparent by tuesday that it was time for the mohawk to go. it was thinning/falling out and looking less badass than it deserved. and so, off with her hair! andy used clippers and razors and the hawk was no more. the sides, which were previously shaved close, had not really fallen out, and had maintained very short hairs. on the other hand, the longer mohawk hairs had mostly fallen out, creating a reverse mohawk look. this may sound cool and interesting, but mostly it presents as male pattern baldness, which is not exactly the look i'm going for. alas. i would have been fine rocking the sinead o'connor look, but for now it will be hats until all the hair bits fall out.

both tuesday and wednesday i worked from home for part of each day. as with previous treatments, i was feeling 100% by thursday, and i returned to work. it is an interesting rhythm to the weeks. friday was another workday, and another fire pit, hot dogs, and s'mores sort of evening with a friend later on. i could get used to this.

on saturday, my parents came down for their traditional Come See The Colors And Trees And Hills Because Northwest Ohio Is Flat Farmlands autumnal visit. when i lived in athens, hocking hills was the usual destination. but saturday called for 100% chance of rain pretty much all day, so i thought we should stick with the columbus metro parks. why drive an hour in the rain when you can drive a quarter of an hour in the rain and still get equally drenched either way? we brought rainjackets and umbrellas, hiked the highbanks overlook trail, and surprisingly, we were not the only ones. the few, the proud, the soaking wet. we mostly kept inside for the rest of the day, with journeys to restaurants, football watching, and yahtzee playing.

sunday was my first time playing bass at church in quite awhile. it was good to meet new fellow musicians and play together. after church and lunch, we all took a walk around the neighborhood before my parents headed home. i promptly took a nap before waking up to watch the browns be the browns.

coming up is Week 10, which will include my last round of this particular chemotherapy on thursday. given last treatment's resulting nausea, i am not exactly looking forward to it, but there is a certain amount of relief that it will be the last of its kind. then, it will be new, different drugs and side effects... but i will cross that bridge when i come to it. let's do this.

Posted on Monday, October 28, 2019 at 08:56PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

projects

on monday, i had the holiday off (government work is great), and i spent it going shopping and taking on house projects. i visited lowe's and menards and came home with a new cordless drill, smoke alarm, and two light fixtures. andy has no issues with the light fixtures in the upstairs hallway and the laundry room. i, on the other hand, have had strong feelings regarding their generic look. so as of monday, the spiky textured glass single-bulb hallway light is gone, and has been replaced with a three-bulb hallway light that actually provides decent illumination and is more aesthetically pleasing. the same spiky textured light in the laundry room will also be replaced some day. monday was not that day. but between installing the light, the smoke alarm, and finally cleaning the living room so that my various and sundry cancer paraphernalia wasn't taking over the whole place, i had a nice, productive day.

tuesday and wednesday were back to work as usual. both evenings were taken up by board games; one with a group of andy's work friends, and the other evening just the two of us at home.

thursday was chemo, round three. blood work was declared fine, and i had all the usual infusions: anti-nausea, adriamycin, cytoxan. we were out of there by about 11:45am, took a quick walk to micro center to pick up a computer mouse, and then we were off to have pho. we have a usual order of three items that we share: chicken pho, spring rolls, and chicken wings. all was well, except that i only wanted two of my usual three chicken wings. odd. by the time i got home, it was apparent that nausea was going to make a visit this time around. i took an anti-nausea pill and mostly slept for the rest of the afternoon and evening. unfortunately for andy, the plan was that i was going to make a pot roast in the instant pot for the evening meal. once it was obvious i wasn't up to it, this responsibility fell to him, and as it turns out, we had a mighty fine pot roast that evening. this guy... he's a keeper.

as usual, friday was back to the oncologist's office for my follow-up neulasta injection. i was still slightly nauseated and pretty tired, so afterwards, i mostly lounged on the couch for the afternoon. after a few plan changes involving in-laws and schedules and food options, our friends talinn and daniel stopped by that evening. we gave them an abbreviated house tour, enjoyed dinner, and caught up. it was good to see them.

if i recall correctly, i spent most of saturday sleeping a whole heck of a lot. breakfast and lunch were events that happened, but mostly were just interruptions of my napping. i may have been working on computer file transfers or something on my laptop at some point. entirely unsure. oh and that was the day we enjoyed the new neighbors and their bro friends shouting in merriment on their screened-in back porch. i am fairly certain they were not communicating, just shouting; i didn't venture out to confirm. hopefully this is not going to be a common occurrence. later in the evening, we had our friend brent over to hang out and enjoy hot dogs and s'mores over the fire pit. once again, it was a perfect evening for a fire. afterwards, andy and i played a game he was excited about, and i crushed him at it. good times!

today, sunday, i managed to make it through church (to be clear, this is a reflection of my symptoms, not the teaching), then came home to nap before andy's parents came over for lunch. we relaxed and spent time with them through the early afternoon. this evening has been spent puttering, working on laptop stuff, a small project, and lounging. it's really quite amazing how much one human can sleep, with the right attitude, dedication, and chemo regimen! hopefully i perk up as usual once Week 9 begins. let's do this.

Posted on Sunday, October 20, 2019 at 08:38PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

drafts

i spent most of the week continuously feeling several things in a ridiculous cycle, over and over, like an idiot. firstly, enjoying the heck out of having a mohawk. secondly, wondering why everything kept feeling so drafty? thirdly, realizing, oh right, MY HEAD IS MOSTLY SHAVED. fourthly, knowing that a hat would solve the issue, but fifthly, also knowing that the friction of a hat will likely bring all remaining hairs, mohawk and all, closer to their full demise. and so, the mohawk has been out and about in columbus in all its salt-and-pepper glory. magnificent.

monday was a sleep in kinda day, and i worked from home in the afternoon. i was, however, pretty tired, moreso than the previous work from home monday. so it may be that the next post-chemo monday is a full day off. we shall see. tuesday and wednesday were also work from home days, almost exactly similar to the previous ones. there was a moment around lunchtime on tuesday where i was not super enthused about the idea of the smell of food, which had not happened before. in an overabundance of caution, i took an as needed nausea pill just in caseies; all was well. wednesday, i thought several times, i could have gone in to work! and then i would have the same moments of lightheadedness as before and think, ah right! that's why i'm home. relax.

thursday, i was once again feeling 100%, and it was back in to the office. good to see everyone again and to take care of all the in-person stuff on my desk and in my mailbox. that evening, andy and i met up with our friend josh for dinner. as of that morning, we had not yet decided upon where to eat. i had the thought of schmidt's (where i have had their cream puff, but not any of the haus's sausages) in german village. and then i realized there was the perfect place just a few blocks from there... the old mohawk restaurant. i had been there a million years before, and andy half a million. josh was game. and so we met there, taking the obligatory photo before going in: the mohawk restaurant awning, the olde mohawk sign, the mohawk street sign, and my mohawk. a little much? yes, obviously. (the meatloaf and mashed potato special was pretty good, btw). afterwards, andy and i took a walk around schiller park, as it was a perfect autumn night. glorious.

friday was another day at work, and dinner with andy's parents. all four of us are in various states of disrepair (don't grow old, kids!), so part of the evening's conversation revolved around our various injuries and ailments. comical.

saturday was mostly spent setting up a new laptop and transferring files and doing various technical and administrative life stuff. at some point, we ventured out of the house to do some grocery shopping, which included s'more fixins. our house has an in-ground fire pit off of the patio, both of which were constructed by the previous owner(s). we had never gotten around to using in the sixteen or so months of living here, and it was high time it got some use. andy set it all up, and we enjoyed a lovely bonfire and some tasty s'mores on a beautiful evening. watching the last of the glowing embers, crowding closer and trying to catch the dissipating heat... always one of the best parts of fall. classic.

on sunday, i had made arrangements to introduce myself to the worship leader to put my bass (and other musical) skills to use in the future, despite my limited and random schedule... something i am looking forward to doing again. meanwhile, there was a 5K walk/run that was being put on by my department at work, which i did not sign up to volunteer or participate in because, well, my life is kind of weird with scheduling in Cancer Land. unbeknownst to me, my colleagues who participated wore pins and walked (or ran) in my honor because, well, they are just fantastic. i was informed of this a few hours later via text and a photo. i felt the love. like i have said before... i have good people, all around me. at work, at church, in person, in the wild, all around the world, virtually and otherwise, and including you, whichever category of those you fall into. week 7 is in the books and week 8 is underway. let's do this.

Posted on Monday, October 14, 2019 at 06:50PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

hawk talk

we've made it to Week 6. last i left off, i was having a nice spaghetti dinner with the in-laws. the next day, saturday, was pretty chill, if i recall. mostly puttering around the house, then board gaming with the wolfes for the evening. sunday was church and then watching the browns embarrass the ravens (GO BROWNS!).

monday through wednesday seemed basically normal, going in to work 8-to-5, nothing out of the ordinary. thursday was two weeks to the day of the first round of chemo, and thursday was the day my hair started getting weird. it had been noticeably thinner for a day or two, but thursday was the day i could no longer do my hair as usual without losing more hair than i would prefer. so, minimal hair product, hair is laying low. ok, cool. i can handle this. post-shower, it was prepping for chemo day. this time i remembered to glob on the numbing cream and use the recommended Glad Press and Seal to keep the cream in the right place (Press and Seal works oddly well on human skin... i learn the weirdest things in Cancer Land). arrived at the oncologist's office, got blood drawn, met with dr. m, who declared that my blood counts were normal ("wait, like chemo normal, or normal person normal?" "normal person normal!"), so i was cleared for my second round of chemo. nothing much different as compared to the first round, aside from a different seat, different nurses, and choosing a popsicle instead of plain ice chips for my adriamycin cryotherapy. the nurse slowed down my rate of cytoxan drip (that was the drug that made me sneezy and sinus-y last time), which helped, aside from the saline drip running out halfway through and sort of making the cytoxan more concentrated, nullifying the slower rate. but we got it figured out, and we were out of there at around noon. we ran a few errands, headed home, had dinner delivered (thanks, arin!) and basically chilled out at home.

friday i slept in pretty good, and after a quick lunch of leftovers, it was back to the oncologist's office for my neulasta injection. nothing new, it stung the same way it did for the first round. good times. then we were headed to northwest ohio. there were several reasons to visit for the weekend: high school alumni marching band on friday for homecoming; my dad's birthday; and i hadn't seen my family since getting diagnosed. since i had tolerated the first round of chemo relatively well, it seemed like a good opportunity to go. i can sleep pretty much anywhere, so what does it matter where i am geographically? so andy drove us northwestward, and i basically zonked out for the three hour tour. my mom had an early dinner ready for us, and then it was off to the high school for the annual alumni band. i hadn't been sure i was going to make it at all, so i was a bit of a wildcard, but things had been arranged so that i could join at the last minute, without actually marching across the field for pregame. it was good to catch up with previous directors as well as classmates and fellow alumni, and it was good to be able to join and play trumpet as i had for the last five years. after pregame, it turned into a cold, windy evening (perfect high school football weather, frankly), and we made it through the halftime band performances before heading home. after an hour or two of a nap, i received texts that the game was over, and we joined friends for a post-game gathering to hang out and catch up a little. it was an ambitious day as far as my energy levels, but my body handled it well, and i was thankful to be able to make it through and enjoy all the activities.

on saturday, we had an early lunch at the home restaurant (HOME FRIES 4 EVA). later in the afternoon, my brother stopped by to say hi and drop off a birthday card. eventually i took a shower (more hairs coming loose, causing me to really start planning what to do about that), and it was off to texas roadhouse for my dad (and his twin's) birthday, and then after that, a visit to my grandparents. then, finally, it was back home. it should be noted that in all the between times, i was basically zonked out in the car. so tired. so very tired.

sunday morning was a bit of a blur of meeting up with old friends, seeing people at my parents' church, and lunching. then we packed up the car and headed back to columbus. again, i zonked out in the car for the most part, with andy the ever faithful chauffeur. by this point, i knew that the next time i took a shower and washed my hair, it was going to be a hot mess. so, after dinner, i decided it was time. we set up shop in the foyer, where there is a full-length mirrored door, decent lighting, and a broom sweepable surface. my request for a mohawk was cause for nervousness, as andy had only ever shaved his own head, and certainly not into a mohawk. but we slowly worked up to it. the hawk itself is slightly shorter than either of us intended, but i am happy with the result. what say ye, my Cancer Land fan base? let's do this.

Posted on Sunday, October 6, 2019 at 08:14PM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment

good place

not gonna lie, folks: Cancer Land, Week 5 was pretty uneventful. i think that's a good thing.

after watching the browns somehow lose to the rams on sunday night, i slept off the last of the major fatigue through late monday morning. still a little sluggish, i got myself around for some coffee, then a shower, then some lunch. then it was Finding Out How Remoting In To Work From Home was going to work. as it turns out, it works pretty well. i can access most of the stuff i need by remoting in -- it's as though i am sitting at my work computer -- and if there is anything physical/paper/analog for me, it can be scanned to me for review/processing. likewise, i can ask colleagues to be my hands and feet for things requiring a human body to be present, e.g., depositing a check to the treasurer's office. it's not quite the same as being there, but close enough for horseshoes. plus, the commute is fantastic.

as far as cancer-y things, i found monday to be the tail-end of the hardcore fatigue, and the beginning of a bit of occasional, minor light-headedness: mostly when getting up too quickly, or moving or turning too quickly. at first i thought perhaps i needed more food or hydration, despite the fact that i felt like i had been eating constantly, like a wrestler trying to make the next weight class. after a bit, i recalled that anemia is listed as a possible chemo side effect, given the upending of all my blood cell counts, and this seemed to check out with the symptoms. it comes with a different sort of tiredness; during the initial chemo fatigue, when walking upstairs, my legs and body just felt HEAVY. it felt like an enormous amount of effort. with this new replacement symptom, it was more like, oh, you made it upstairs? cool cool, no problem, now why don't you sit and rest awhile, HOT SHOT? slow your roll, overachiever, take a breather. so, still moving kinda slow, but for different reasons.

tuesday, i started working from home mid-morning, testing the waters of my light-headedness/tiredness. so far, so good. also, i received news about my PET scan: all looks to be normal with the areas they were suspicious about. hooray! thankful for the good news.

worked from home again on wednesday, not quite eight hours, but almost. i recalled the days of my "sabbatical" aka "funemployment" aka "staying home replacing light fixtures and painting and unpacking while looking for a job after getting married and moving to columbus"; learning about the rhythms of the neighborhood you normally don't think about while at an 8-to-5 job. ah, that's when the recycling truck goes by. the garbage truck just has a giant claw to grab the trash can? what a time to be alive. usps arrives around 1:30p, ok, good to know. school bus is dropping off kids, must be around 3p! that sort of thing, as well as the occasional anomaly, such as the morning's screeching of tires and subsequent crunch of metal. far enough away that at first i thought it was just a loud heavy equipment noise and couldn't see anything, but close enough that ten to fifteen minutes later, i could hear and see the emergency vehicles responding. i'm not the gal who's gonna wander down the street to gawk; hopefully everyone was all right. the occasional light-headedness was becoming more and more occasional throughout the day, so, win. met andy for dinner at aladdin's, where we received an accidental extra chicken shawarma, which i ended up liking better than the item i actually ordered, so, double win.

thursday marked my return to the office. my physical inbox actually wasn't too terrible, though plenty of things made their way to my desk throughout the day. i felt 100%, and it was good to be back, living normal life. later that evening, we watched the season four premiere of The Good Place. if you haven't been watching this WHY NOT? YOU SHOULD BE. GO WATCH SEASON ONE AND REPORT BACK.

friday was another normal day in the office, and hanging out with andy and his parents that evening for dinner. i realize this is not noteworthy, which is why i include it. normal life. i can handle every other week being normal. Cancer Land, Week 6? let's do this.

Posted on Saturday, September 28, 2019 at 10:53AM by Registered Commentermdog in | CommentsPost a Comment