so, i almost went speed dating tonight.

[here's the part where i pause to allow rachel to do a little chair cheer].

to bring the unknown up to speed [so to speak]: room of people, one-on-one talking for five minutes, move on to the next person, mingle all together later, trade info at that point if you desire.

i saw a blurb about it on the local library website. which was apparently the ONLY blurb about it, but i will get to that momentarily. i was both mortified and intrigued by the idea, so i enlisted a friend for solidarity and accompaniment; she knew people that had attended the last one and said she would get more information. the reconnaissance mission came back with bad news: according to prior participants, there seemed to be quite a creepiness factor. also keep in mind this is a small town, and perhaps not an enormous pool to draw from, i.e. not likely to be much different this time around.

so i suggested a stakeout. i let my friend off the hook and said i would do a little browsing slash reading slash monitoring from a safe distance, and call her if things looked... promising. i showed up about half an hour early, found an anne lamott book and a suitable reading location, and read peacefully for awhile. registration was to start at 6:30, and "interviews" at 7:00. after a while i realized/thought that i couldn't actually see anyone walking in, as the whole ordeal was set up in a room off of the immediate entrance, in the lobby between the outer doors and inner doors.

hmmmmm. i see there is no way i can get a better position, and come up with plan b [which ironically enough, was the name of the lamott book i was, at this point, not really reading]. i decide that i will keep 'reading' for awhile before making my way out to assess the situation. while waiting, i observe a man coming in and out of the lobby, obviously involved in setting up the registration process. also: i panic. by the time 6:50 rolls around, i have pretty much decided to chicken out, but am allowing a sliver of possibility that i will ignore all the bones in my body that are screaming please leave, don't go through with this, have you gone completely mad?

i walk out and realize that there is a reason i couldn't see anyone walk in. in the lobby, there is a table, and the man behind the table, and at that moment three women talking to the man behind the table about the speed dating. or perhaps more accurately, the lack of speed dating. because behind all of this is... an empty room.

might want to do a little more advertising next time, folks.

well, if nothing else... it certainly was speedy.